fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
