I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
