I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
is wine microwaveable?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
