I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
