I am puke
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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