she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
