chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My ass is underappreciated
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
