I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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