real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
