Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So many bounce houses so little time
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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