I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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