3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
