So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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