the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
