Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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