I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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