If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I party with great urgency now.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
