you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
