I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
