I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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