just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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