So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
