Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
