I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
