Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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