Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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