I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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