i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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