My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
