he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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