So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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