Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
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This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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