So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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