dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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