nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
