i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
