i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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