im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
