Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
