the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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