addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
