Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
