The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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