Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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