I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
