So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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