Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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