Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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