Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize