i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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