the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
