He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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