oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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