me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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