look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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