I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
did you just send me my own nude
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
