Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
