and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
