He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
