I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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