it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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