How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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