Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
