so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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