Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
